The evening after the night before

Ok, so it didn't quite go as I had planned. I ended up spending much longer with my mam than I had intended. We went Xmas shopping, came home and had lunch. Then she asked me if I would put a colour on her hair for her.

By the time I had done all this it was 4:30 and I was running late. I got to Coffee Man's at 5pm and dinner was nearly ready. So much for cooking together! Ooops!

He is a fantastic cook though and we enjoyed a lovely dinner. I had a decision to make and I made it. I never ever drink alcohol if I'm going to drive, and we shared a bottle of red with dinner.

I don't know if I made the right decision but it was the right decision for the moment. I didn't regret it this morning and neither did he. All I will say is I felt loved and wanted, and special and attractive. I've not felt that way for a long time. I've felt convenient, and used, and grateful that it was my turn. God, how sad and weak that sounds. But it is a long time since I felt special and cherished and beautiful.

I left early as I was collecting a friend to go to our weekly yoga class, and you have those 'what have I done ' moments. Worried, shall I text him or not? Should I call? What will he think of me in the cold light of day, will he think I'm cheap? So, I text him to say thank you for dinner and the lovely evening. I got a cold text back saying it had been great.

So after an hour's fretting I was overjoyed when another text through saying sorry, his mate had just left and he had had a great evening too and he is looking forward to next weekend when we meet up again. There were lots of kisses on the end.

I text him this evening to say have a good night at work and he rang me a few minutes later and we chatted for half an hour. So I'm feeling very relieved and comfortable with the relationship.

So, right or wrong another step has been taken. (oh and he has asked me to go to his works Xmas do too!!)