The clocks went back at 2am this morning, all bar my body clock that is, so I have left E sleeping upstairs, He was working yesterday and was very tired.
So I have completed lots of (quiet) chores and the house is as it should be.
The end of a period always makes me stop and consider. When the clocks went forward I was still with CM (he rang on Friday, we talked for an hour, mainly about the other woman -his 'best friend' who still dominates his life) I was still very hung up on SR, I was missing the Dutchman. Truth be told I still miss the Dutchman. He is one of those guys that will always be in in my mind I think.
And now? I have met E, I am in a place in my mind that is calm and relaxed. It is the 1st anniversary of the eruption with SR next weekend and yet I am calm. I can see just how many things were wrong in that relationship and yet I hung on and tried to make it work. I must do some research - I can't remember who the patron saint of lost causes was but I'm sure I must have had an eye to her!
I am heading off to the gym soon, not sure why as I already feel bruised and battered from yesterday's session (gym not E)((although I do have a tingle and a redness to my rear that I cannot put down to the treadmill))
I have put on 7 pounds this last 2 months (ish) through non-attendance and working away so I need to get that back off again. E has promised to help and set me targets to work to. I weigh in on a Saturday and if it is only me looking it is a case of 'bugger must try harder next week' if E is watching He will set me tasks to do that He knows I hate in order to spur me on to the extra session in the gym or the healthy food choice.
I also know however that I will be rewarded for a loss as was demonstrated last night when He gave me a preview. I know however that there will be no repetition until I have lost 2 pounds!
That man knows how to motivate a girl! Time to get ready and take His tea before I go.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Still lax
Yes I know I know, I read another post today and it commented on how sometimes there is just no compulsion to blog.
One of the reasons I started my blog was to empty my brain of all those thoughts that clutter it up and cloud your judgement. Borne of sadness and confusion. Even when I was seeing Coffee Man I continued to blog, there was still something missing, since meeting E life seems more complete. I feel relaxed and comfortable, the feelings that SR stirred have been fulfilled.
I was skating on the extremes of a secret world, now I have been given the key. I feel like I have been given the most wondrous gift in the world.
Work is busy, frantic even and yet I feel calm, I know that the minute I clock off I am His and have just one responsibility and that is Him.
I never expected to feel this treasured, like a piece of fragile crystal does that seem strange? It is a wonderful feeling.
One of the reasons I started my blog was to empty my brain of all those thoughts that clutter it up and cloud your judgement. Borne of sadness and confusion. Even when I was seeing Coffee Man I continued to blog, there was still something missing, since meeting E life seems more complete. I feel relaxed and comfortable, the feelings that SR stirred have been fulfilled.
I was skating on the extremes of a secret world, now I have been given the key. I feel like I have been given the most wondrous gift in the world.
Work is busy, frantic even and yet I feel calm, I know that the minute I clock off I am His and have just one responsibility and that is Him.
I never expected to feel this treasured, like a piece of fragile crystal does that seem strange? It is a wonderful feeling.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Examined
Well I completed my 2 exams today so fingers crossed I did ok. The results are due back in December just in time for Xmas!
E has been great dealing with my pre-exam stress out too. Even testing me on theories and models.
So what is E like, lovely? No I shouldn't say that, makes him sound very un dom like.
He is just under 6' tall (that's very tall compared to me!) He has lovely almost black hair with perhaps a few wispy grey bits creeping in (He blames me for them), he is 42 (single - just in case anyone was wondering - Rosie.....) he has broad broad shoulders and a tattoo on his upper right arm. His voice is to die for- very home counties English (think Hugh Grant?) and the deepest blue grey eyes. Piercing in fact.
He has been in the lifestyle for 15 years or so, so a lot more experienced than me, but because of that he is very gentle, persistent but gentle. Gradually bringing new experiences to me, not so quick that i run like a startled rabbit though.
All in all, life is still good!
E has been great dealing with my pre-exam stress out too. Even testing me on theories and models.
So what is E like, lovely? No I shouldn't say that, makes him sound very un dom like.
He is just under 6' tall (that's very tall compared to me!) He has lovely almost black hair with perhaps a few wispy grey bits creeping in (He blames me for them), he is 42 (single - just in case anyone was wondering - Rosie.....) he has broad broad shoulders and a tattoo on his upper right arm. His voice is to die for- very home counties English (think Hugh Grant?) and the deepest blue grey eyes. Piercing in fact.
He has been in the lifestyle for 15 years or so, so a lot more experienced than me, but because of that he is very gentle, persistent but gentle. Gradually bringing new experiences to me, not so quick that i run like a startled rabbit though.
All in all, life is still good!
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Update
Thngs are still going well. I'm settling in to E's routines and life seems strangely calm and placid.
I do have exams on Wednesday which I am approaching with trepidation but, I hate exams. If I fail it will not be from lack of study. At the moment things are in my brain. Whether they still will be when I sit down I don't know.
e has been encouraging me and being very supportive.
Work has been frantic with so much driving this week. Traffic has been horrendous.
I do have exams on Wednesday which I am approaching with trepidation but, I hate exams. If I fail it will not be from lack of study. At the moment things are in my brain. Whether they still will be when I sit down I don't know.
e has been encouraging me and being very supportive.
Work has been frantic with so much driving this week. Traffic has been horrendous.
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