School day

Today was the last modular day of my course, the year has gone so quickly. It's downhill to the exams now. Being the last modular day we also had a test this afternoon. I didn't feel my presentation went well. I was hesitant and my mind couldn't summon up the right words.

I have had a bad headache all day and I couldn't think straight. I will know the result in January. Too late to worry now. I did the best I could on the day.

We had the college Xmas dinner afterwards which was lovely. I decided to not go on to a club afterwards though. I made my excuses and left.

I spent the night trying to get my brain straight last night. I've spent the 6 months since I lost the baby thinking 'he would be due in x no of weeks/days' etc. I need to go forwards now. The time has past. Yes, I am still mourning, I still grieve for the loss of my first baby. They will both always be part of who I am. The chapter is closed.

So, tomorrow, I shall be up early and be positive. I shall start my last assignment. I have another Xmas party tomorrow night with Coffee Man. I shall be happy and festive. The pain I am feeling right now will be a memory but not so sharp and with each passing day it will get less.

I will not let SR crush my spirit or my soul. People come into your life for a reason , a season or a lifetime. I cannot see a reason, therefore he was a season. A phase. An era that has passed. I must learn from it and move on.