Thursday, February 22, 2007

Mixed up

My Dutch ex text me yesterday t tell me he was coming home from Holland and could we meet up for coffee.

God I loved that man. But things were not to be and he went back to Holland 3 years ago. He had family issues that needed to be attended to.

Ever since he got back in touch I have been on a knife edge. He makes me laugh, he makes me get btterflies just at the thought of him. That has always been the case. I don't know if the current situation with Coffee Man is exacerbating that. He has not contacted at all today.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm kidding myself thinking a coffee is just a coffee. I don't know if I will see him for the first time in years and all those old feelings will come flooding back. Or if I will meet him, have a laugh over old times, and then part as friends and nothing more?

Is it worth the risk? I don't know. I just don't know.

I don't know if I just want to feel special and loved, that I am someone's priority - not an afterthought.

I need to work this out.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He makes me laugh
He makes me get btterflies

****
You obviously do the same for him otherwise he wouldnt contact you. He is NOT contacting you because he finds you boring, nor out of obligation hon. He is contacting you because he likes you and knows he likes you.

****

I don't know if I will see him for the first time in years and all those old feelings will come flooding back.

****

I think they probably will and already have.

****

Or if I will meet him, have a laugh over old times, and then part as friends and nothing more.

****

Is that so bad? If you dont meet you will never know.

****

Is it worth the risk?

****

What are you risking? If you meet and part as friends, thats a good thing.

If you meet and it all comes back, thats a good thing.

All you are risking is never knowing unless you meet. You also know deep down those feelings are still there and you are afraid of getting hurt. So what you really mean is this:

Is it worth falling in love with him all over again and where will it lead?

****

I don't know if I just want to feel special and loved

****

You DO know Bridget

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Not an afterthought

****

Who makes you feel an afterthought? To feel as an afterthought (in my mind) means you probably are.

I hope my frankness doesnt upset you dear Bridget, but its all about being truthful to yourself hon and sometimes its hard to be truthful to oneself. Sometimes it takes someone to be blunt to see a situation as it is.

Love, hugs and kisses

s
xxxx

3:42 am

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