SR hasn't rung, or text, or e-mailed. Nothing to say I or the baby ever existed in His life. In fact He took my replacement - the one He was screwing around with out for dinner.
I'm sure they had a lovely time.
Why the hell can I not move on. I hate what He did to me. I hate the way He made me feel, I hate the fact that I let Him treat me that way. I never really really loved Him. But there is a string there I cannot cut. More than once I was going to leave Him, but He got in first. He hurt me so badly and yet I still crave His attention.
You must think I'm mad.
He is half the man (in all ways) that the Dutchman is. Don't get me wrong , I still love the Dutchman, I always have and probably always will, whatever happens. We had something magical. But there is some evil thread linking me to Him but not the other way round. If I died tomorrow He would just shrug.
I don't know if it was just the baby that makes me feel this way about Him? So many times over the last two days I have picked up the phone to call Him, I am so proud of myself that I haven't though.
Still no word from the Dutchman either. I had a really odd feeling this morning too at 7.15 that there had been a death somewhere, I'm just waiting to hear whose though. I wish he would just let me know he is ok. He's a bugger for doing this!
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7 comments:
men are bastards, we're better of being upfront about it.
Not all men, just all the ones I have married and dated in the last 10 years with the exception of the Dutchman. Maybe it's me??
It's not you. I'm so sorry it's such a hard time for you. It's not surprising that you feel such ties with your ex i don't think, i still feel so linked to mine, even though he never really treated me badly, it's just the shared history, being so used to telling them about things, to having them share your life. It's hard to give up.
Can you call the Dutchman? I forget whether he has a phone or whatnot that's available, but, could you call to check what's going on?
--[milla]
;./llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll[p
oh i'm gonna post this to cheer you up, that was the cat standing on the keyboard, see she's thinking of you too.
--[milla]
Well I do have an affinity with cats (giggle) thanks puss!
His phone has been completely switched off since the 25th :(
Thanks for your comment milla
Hugs
Bridget
knock knock.
-whos there?
U walrus.
--U Walrus who?
you walrus hurt the one you love
the one...you shouldn't hurt at all
Groans at stagger's joke!!)
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