Smiles

A watched phone never rings, but perhaps one you glance at once or twice might beep?
The Dutchman text this morning to say he was on his way home and then rang me from the port when he got back to Kent. We chatted for 20 minutes and as ever he wound me up, teased me, flirted, cared. I have such a maelstrom of emotions with this man. He has the knack of producing every emotion known to woman.

I hate it when he goes home as his accent is so thick when he returns, and combined with a mobile phone I sometimes struggle to understand him which he teases me for. He can be so juvenile one minute and the next he makes me feel like the only woman on earth. It would never last would it? And yet when I don't hear from him I feel like there is something missing. I don't know what to do with him for sanity. My family would hate him, they never did meet him when we were dating as I don't live on their doorstep. They hated SR as the Dutchman is zanier. He is very ...... continental. By that I mean he is blunt. My family is very English. We don't talk about anything important emotionally. Stiff upper lip, and I know that sounds old fashioned but it's the way my family are. If he wants to say something he does, if he thinks it he says it. That's how I know my family would not approve. Mentally he was always tender with me and if I was upset he was so gentle. He is a big flirt and I remember one time he took it too far. We were in a pub, and I just welled up (PMT) he took one look at my red eyes and was mortified and devoted 110% of his attention to me afterwards. He is totally anti-establishment and I'm quite a conformist.

Now, on the other side of the coin (literally) my other friend also made contact after his weekend away. On the surface my family would love him. He has a respectable job, a respectable sense of humour and would never embarrass me. (well, not in the same way) we met through a lifestyle group, and have faded in and out of each other's lives over the last 12 months or so. When I first found out about SR's interests I set out to find out more, this guy has acted as a mentor. He expressed an interest in taking it further when things went down the pan with SR. Then I met CM and fell back into a vanilla lifestyle and once more that did not work.
Does it sound strange that I am too independent and headstrong to have a vanilla relationship and yet I thrive in a D/s one?

We keep making arrangements to meet up and things keep thwarting us. I know I always say things happen for a reason, but if I'm using my head not my heart I feel that long term he is better for me. Perhaps I just need one last mad fling with the Dutchman to prove it though?

I sound like such a tart! I'm not...honest, well only when I'm told to be....