Slack day

Today was quite a change, for once I wasn't blue arsed flying around. Had a really good , productive meeting and a slow drive home with no traffic jams yay.

I got the laundry sorted, the house tidied, and everything is right with the world.

I am making a real effort with Coffee Man at the moment. Trying to put the neurosis of the last few weeks, out of my mind. He does love me, just can't say it. The past few days he has really been here for me. When I have been stressed out and in tears he has held me and tried to sort the problem out.

Yes, I still love the Dutchman and probably always will, but a different type of love, tinted with the rose coloured spectacles. He is not a stayer. He is not a player either but he will flit in and out of my life hurting me each time he leaves.

Coffee Man is steady and secure. Pedantic, obtuse, dogmatic but he looks out for me.
I need to settle, I'm not a child anymore. The men in my life recently have hurt me a lot. Maybe it's time?