Well, owing to any other outlet I have been throwing myself into the gym, full workout both yesterday and today. I put on 3 pounds last week (eeeekk how did that happen?) so I'm determined to get them off this.
Got my assignment results back, I passed, not a good pass but hey, it was a pass. I try to get more than that in the assignment as it gives me more scope for failure in the exam. I'm rubbish under exam conditions.
I really should be starting the next one now though.....
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9 comments:
Yanno hon, years ago I went through the same feelings, thinking I found Mr Right only to be chucked out, discarded, used and abused and hurt. That continued for 4 years. I drank myself into oblivion, I had one night stands, I lost memory, I was so inwardly sad (outwardly happy). Then one day I thought and it just happened, I thought "I am not doing this any more, I dont care if I am alone, I want to be me". Probably about 5 months after slipping into "me" mode it just happened. I wasnt searching, looking, nor having one night stands. I was happy with myself, happy with my life, my job and genuninely "happy" and not looking. When my husband came along he paid me interest, he chased me, I couldnt be bothered with it all (yet inwardly after time went along and the chase continued I began to wonder if he was "the right" man). I married him and we have been married 12 years. The point I am making is that, after looking back, I realised I had to be happy with "me" before I could be happy with anyone else.
Although some may say that I am not happy now, that is of no consequence, because I remember the exact same feelings that I had, that you are having now.
I made a conscious effort to focus on "me", and to be happy with "me", Its so important to be a happy Bridget within yourself hon.
You are not a loser, far from it. You are attractive, career orientated, financially stable (from what I can gather) intelligent, humourous and caring, gentle, loving....but..... perhaps you need to focus on the positive aspects that you portray rather than negative aspects.
Sometimes you write in here that you are a "loser", or "desparate". You are far from any of those things, but perhaps some people (as strange as it may seem) pick up on negativity.
To love and be loved you have to love thyself.... I am not sure I have quoted that properly, but it sprang to mind.
Honey hang in there, look into yourself, work for yourself, rather than working at finding someone else...it will happen, I promise, and I dont make promises that are not kept. Never.
I dont want this to sound like I am preaching, sometimes I do tend to step up on the "pedestal", take what you need from my advice and disregard that which is not relevant. I only spurt and get on the "pedestal" when I care.
Thinking on you hon.
BTW congrats on the passes and excuse my typos!
rosie
xxxx
I thought no 2 was Mr Right, (fool) and since then I've certainly not dated anyone I thought was. I knew SR wasn't, the Dutchman, although I love him to bits, is not Mr Right, and Coffee Man sure as hell wasn't. He loved his dog more than me lol.
I think though that I've raised my standards since SR. I knew he was wrong but still let him hurt me.
I've been studying hard, working on my fitness, even if the weight has stayed the same. I am content in my own skin most of the time. Yes there are times I hurt, I think of the babies, the bad decisions, but I'm ok. I'm better off than most. I look at friend's and their bad relationships that they can't get out of because of kids and finances.
I've also made the decisions in the last couple of relationships. Not working? Got out!
So i wouldn't say I'm giving off negative vibes, in fact it's been the opposite, been getting shed loads of attention just not fom anyone i want to take it further with.
Getting choosy in my old age!
Hmm must stop rambling lol!
Thanks for your thoughts sweetheart, you always throw a different light on things and make me ponder.
Hugs n stuff
Bridget
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I hope my comment wasnt taken in any other way than me just trying to be caring hon.
Have a great Thursday.
rosie
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Not at all sweetheart - you always make me ponder, hugs
Bridget
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Just my 2 cents, I've had a failed marriage too which made me feel like a total loser and took ages to recover from, and it took a long time to find some who now I think something long term might be possible. It all develops us as people and I know (ARGH HOPE) that I'm a better person now than I was then because of the pain i've been through.
Just thoughts, it will all come together eventually, then probably fall apart again, argh, damn life cycles.
Big big hugs hun.
milla
My family friend is in her mid-eighties and fell in love over the last couple of years. They play music and eat seafood together. I think we do form a pattern of an ideal mate at some stage but we just trudge on.
oooh welcome back to the land of the living Stagger, we've missed you and thank you for your comment! I don't think I have a picture of the ideal (yet) but I sure as hell know who isn't now.
(sings 'some day her prince will come')
Tuesday has been and gone hon...well at my end of the world, twice....
Gives you a friendly cheery hug, comon` girl...... baileys?
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rosie
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A subtle hint rosie? giggle.
Baileys would be grand! Life is odd!
Hope you are ok, hugs n stuff
Bridget
xxxx
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