The end of Summer

The clocks went back at 2am this morning, all bar my body clock that is, so I have left E sleeping upstairs, He was working yesterday and was very tired.

So I have completed lots of (quiet) chores and the house is as it should be.

The end of a period always makes me stop and consider. When the clocks went forward I was still with CM (he rang on Friday, we talked for an hour, mainly about the other woman -his 'best friend' who still dominates his life) I was still very hung up on SR, I was missing the Dutchman. Truth be told I still miss the Dutchman. He is one of those guys that will always be in in my mind I think.

And now? I have met E, I am in a place in my mind that is calm and relaxed. It is the 1st anniversary of the eruption with SR next weekend and yet I am calm. I can see just how many things were wrong in that relationship and yet I hung on and tried to make it work. I must do some research - I can't remember who the patron saint of lost causes was but I'm sure I must have had an eye to her!

I am heading off to the gym soon, not sure why as I already feel bruised and battered from yesterday's session (gym not E)((although I do have a tingle and a redness to my rear that I cannot put down to the treadmill))

I have put on 7 pounds this last 2 months (ish) through non-attendance and working away so I need to get that back off again. E has promised to help and set me targets to work to. I weigh in on a Saturday and if it is only me looking it is a case of 'bugger must try harder next week' if E is watching He will set me tasks to do that He knows I hate in order to spur me on to the extra session in the gym or the healthy food choice.

I also know however that I will be rewarded for a loss as was demonstrated last night when He gave me a preview. I know however that there will be no repetition until I have lost 2 pounds!

That man knows how to motivate a girl! Time to get ready and take His tea before I go.

Friday

I went to the gym for the first time this week, I only did half what I normally do and the sweat was just pouring out of me. I guess the bug is still with me.

I only have one part of my assignment left to do but I just could not get motivated today. I had a look at the assessment for next week though and put some thoughts together.

I did get the grass cut and the edges strimmed in the garden though. I thought I would get out there in the brief dry interlude.

I keep thinking of SR again today, I don't know why, probably the thought of the weekend looming in front and the knowledge she is there. I wish I could just get over this, it is so annoying. How long does it take for goodness sake???? I get so annoyed with myself. His daughter has asked me to visit her in her new home on Sunday. Be nice to catch up with her and her boyfriend.

Tuesday already?

Well, owing to any other outlet I have been throwing myself into the gym, full workout both yesterday and today. I put on 3 pounds last week (eeeekk how did that happen?) so I'm determined to get them off this.

Got my assignment results back, I passed, not a good pass but hey, it was a pass. I try to get more than that in the assignment as it gives me more scope for failure in the exam. I'm rubbish under exam conditions.

I really should be starting the next one now though.....

Tuesday

Still tired!

I was up and on the road early, did a presentation then straight to the gym. Up until yesterday, this month I have burned the equivalent of 99 apples in cardio and lifted 24 elephants. Not bad huh?

Did another 400 calories and 4536 kgs today.

I will get fit, the weight is not shifting though, what more can I do? Any suggestions?

Not a peep out of Dutchman or Coffee Man story of my life. I don't care. Arseholes to the lot of em!!!

Memory

Do you ever get the feeling you have forgotten something? Something important? I've been like that all day today, just waiting for the you know what to hit the fan because I've missed something....

I had a bit of a catch up day though which was good, my brain is reeling from compiling all the data I need for next week's meeting. If I see one more excel spreadsheet I shall not be responsible for my actions!

I was back at the gym today - day 3 on the trot. And I managed to get my size 12 trousers on (does a happy dance)

Snoozy

I was working in London today but it actually turned out to be quite a short day. I went to the gym, back to the office to finish work then home. For the second day running I came home, sat down for '5 minutes' and woke up half hour later.

I am really really tired at the minute. I'm waking up too early so by now I've had it!

Must be the early morning sunshine - or the seagulls that insist on screeching outside of my open bedroom window......

Still no word from Holland :(

Exhausted!

I was in the gym early this morning and did my full circuit with some increased weight and I stepped up the cardio too, I was absolutely dripping by the time I had finished (nice visual huh?)

I came home and started work here, I laid a 40sq ft patio, restacked the 10 20kg bags of sand I still have left over - ready to lay slabs on the other side of the garden, and mowed the lawn.

Oh I lost one pound too! :)

I've probably put it back on though as I was starving after all that and cooked a Chinese. Less fattening than a takeaway but still not salad!


I'm still thinking about SR, or more truthfully about His current girlfriend, the one He told me would not be around for long. She is there this weekend again. Like she is every weekend.

I suppose I'm feeling lonely, all my friends are hooked up and doing activities with partners and kids, and yes there is an open invitation but I feel the odd one out.

What did I do so wrong that I am still on my own. Even the bastard has her.

shrugs

Back to normal!

The queasiness past and I'm back to normal now, I don't know where that came from.

I had a productve day today, kept getting these flashes of inspiration, the boss loves me now! Keeps me below the parapet a while longer.

I went to the gym and did my circuit and came home and made a mackerel salad. More salad! Yuk!

SR is still playing on my mind, the Dutchman is still missing. Nothing ever changes.

Too late now

Well, I've just posted the assignment off, I held fire because I wanted to check the cost benefit analysis out, I'm glad I did as I've been able to put more detail in.

I got 75% in the assessment yesterday, still a credit but not as good as last year's. But hey, as long as I pass. I would rather have got higher though. But it was a credit still.

I went to the gym today and half killed myself. It's not doing any good though, I'm eating like an anorexic rabbit and exercising my socks off but still the weight is not coming off.

What more can I do?

Networking

I had a little bit of a different day today, I had to visit a supplier and do the networking thing, it was a nice change to the normal. Back in hi-vis jackets and steel toe capped shoes. Not quite my normal suit and heels.

I popped back to the office and sorted out a new pc programme that one of the guys requested, I'm getting quite good at programming.

Came home and wrote a letter to the builders, I'm still waiting for a cheque that has been in the post for a fortnight!

In between times another visit to the gym, I lost a pound today , yay!!!

Oh, and hayfever stinks!

I think I'm going to die!

I've just had my gym programme review. Did I insult that man's mother? I look like a beetroot, I'm wobbling like a mad cow and starved, I have this craving for a squidgy cream cake!

I've just flumped to write this and Coffee Man text, first time in weeks so I've answered him, very light and airy.

The conservatory is lacking it's windows and roof but the framework is there. I've been out and got some flooring too.

I've pulled together some information for my assignment so all is well with the world, well almost. Still no word from the Dutchman :(