Miserable

Yet again my thoughts have been with SR today, thinking this time last year I was doing x,y,z.

The reason it is so fresh in my mind is that tomorrow is the anniversary of my last miscarriage. I remember that weekend so very well, He was so tender and caring, we had to make the decision whether to have an abortion (His preference) or trying to proceed with the pregnancy. Owing to a medical complication it would be an extremely problematical pregnancy. The decision was taken away. He bought me a plant on the day, a really unusual one, as a memorial, this was even before I lost the baby as the sensible thing to do was to have a termination. But we went out to the Royal Horticultural Gardens for the day and ended up in their nursery. He bought 2 identical plants, one for me and one for Him. I lost the baby at 1 am the following day. The funny thing is the plant is just coming into flower, it didn't flower for a couple of weeks last year but it is going to be at its height tomorrow. I wonder how His is doing?

Other than that I have spent the weekend doing chores around the house and garden, and lots of study. I had planned for 4 hours but I have done nearer 7.


I've still not heard from the Dutchman.